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China Promises Fake Lunar Landing by 2009
By Brian White

China Promises Fake Lunar Landing by 2009 Chinese lunar weinermobiles will be easily capable of traversing the moon's treacherous craters, or at least a treacherous green, foam rubber imitation lunar surface.

China's space program has enjoyed successes at a price previously unmatched by any space program. Not the US nor former Soviet Union, not even Canadians have been able to make strides in pace with the Chinese,, and not even because a typical Asian stride is so much shorter based on height alone.

NASA as well as other "NASA wannabe" administrations around the world have applauded China's successes in advanced rocketry capable of successfully putting short men in low Earth orbits. Gar Schwanz from Germany's Advanced Rocket Propulsion Laboratory hails these developments as "the most exciting advancement in rocketry capable of delivery a nuclear payload to the United States since 1960."

Nasa authorities NASA authorities, shown here studying a model of the model the Chinese will use during it's fake lunar launch, are quickly coming to the realization that they're totally gay.

The next milestone is already on the calendar. China will visit the very same fake lunar landing sight celebrated by Neil Armstrong in 1969. Nie Lo Hung from the Mao to Moon headquarters in Beijing says, "We can't do this without the help of America. They are the only ones who've ever faked a moon landing before and without their (no-way) know-how and US moon props we can't hope to be successful."

Officials at NASA, some of whom still insist the Apollo missions were real, say they will help China towards their goal of lunar exploration. Nie Lo Hung explains that they must help. "Is much better to give us cameras and props then have us go to the moon and prove we never went. The '69 Runar Rover work flawlessly, but the '74 Pinto blow up in low-speed collisions? Please, do math."

In light of countless subsequent astro-science failures from a string of defunct Mars Landings to killing the only Jew to ever fly on a space shuttle, NASA has had very little comment about the validity of Lunar missions. An automated message line at NASA offers possible excuses for these failures strangely including 9/11, El Nino, global warming, and flouridated water.

The next milestone is already on the calendar. China will visit the very same fake lunar landing sight celebrated by Neil Armstrong in 1969. Nie Lo Hung from the Mao to Moon headquarters in Beijing says, "We can't do this without the help of America. They are the only ones who've ever faked a moon landing before and without their (no-way) know-how and US moon props we can't hope to be successful."

Officials at NASA, some of whom still insist the Apollo missions were real, say they will help China towards their goal of lunar exploration. Nie Lo Hung explains that they must help. "Is much better to give us cameras and props then have us go to the moon and prove we never went. The '69 Runar Rover work flawlessly, but the '74 Pinto blow up in low-speed collisions? Please, do math."

In light of countless subsequent astro-science failures from a string of defunct Mars Landings to killing the only Jew to ever fly on a space shuttle, NASA has had very little comment about the validity of Lunar missions. An automated message line at NASA offers possible excuses for these failures strangely including 9/11, El Nino, global warming, and flouridated water.

Chinese space queen
This Chinese space-queen may seem 100% genuine, but look closely...yeah, closely....oh, that's good.

Some American government agencies are suggesting that China's hidden agenda is polluting and overpopulating the moon. However, China is refuting this claiming their intent is only to go to a fake moon located presumably in Arizona or Texas, two places they clearly have no desire to populate nor pollute.


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