Ah, Kansas, a quiet land where houses have front and back yards, neighbors know each other by name, and where the biggest cacophony comes by way of natural disaster… the tornado that whisks Dorothy away to the land of Oz.
The tornado you unsuspectingly ride upon is an airplane and you are mostly oblivious to the fact that when you step off that plane you will be in a whole new world, a world that will look and smell different; a fascinating world that will enliven your senses and enrich your life. You think you are prepared for the change. You know the language will be different, the money, the food, the customs. But you also know that it’s a great industrial city, a real metropolis that you are moving too and you think to yourself “it can’t be that different.” And then…
You step off the plane and all seems normal, that is until you start picking your way through the airport, interacting and observing those around you. People are walking in every direction, hurried to get to their destinations just as at home, but here there seems to be no order, people are bumping against you as you make your way down the corridor – even though there is plenty of room for all – they’re stepping in front of you at the turnstiles, shoving past you to collect their bags, not stepping aside from your pathway although they carry only a purse and you’ve got many bags of luggage.
Not having been able to sleep, you are tired from your long flight. You feel grateful that despite all the people milling around and behaving badly you still managed to find your way to the correct bus heading into the city; you didn’t miss it! Everyone on the bus seems kind enough. Yes, they stare at you, but then again, you are the only white person traveling on the bus, and you’re traveling unaccompanied so you disregard their actions and give these folks the benefit of the doubt. You decide that everything you’d seen and thought rude about the locals prior to getting on the bus was due to oversensitivity on your part due to over exhaustion. Now, at last, you may be able to get a quick catnap. You set your watch to go off in 20-minutes and close your eyes. And then it happens…
The noise!
There is a television at the front of the bus you did not notice before and now it has been turned on. It’s a Chinese band and the sound is turned up as high as it can go. No one seems perturbed by it, no one that is except for you. Some riders sleep, others watch the sites, and everyone else talks in high voices to overcome the music.
Walking down the street you hear blaring noise (music?) being pumped out of storefronts and restaurants. You suddenly realize that peace and quiet is a thing of the past; something you never appreciated but believe you will come to. It will not take more than 48-hours before you come to appreciate the silent sounds of the wind rustling through the fields, 48-hours before you recognize that the Chinese are much more tolerant of noise than you are. They have learned to watch their televisions at ear-shattering volumes to drown out the karaoke from the nearby restaurants and the drivers habitually leaning on their horns. They’ve learned to conduct telephone conversations in high-decibel rapid-fire screams and, most surprisingly, have adjusted to the volume of their lives to the point that they sleep through the night and awaken happy and without complaint to the sound of jackhammers and earth-moving vehicles on a daily basis.
As days and weeks go by you come to realize that, unlike in America where Westerners have an unspoken and sacrosanct 12-inch halo of private space encircling their bodies, in China personal space is not a highly valued commodity. It makes sense really, when you come to think of it, this is a country with an expanding population of more than 1.2 billion people. For generations, and even now, these people share small multigenerational living quarters. The roads overflow in chaos with cars, bicycles, and scooters heading in every direction, here too there is no personal space. Cars sidle up to one another within an inch of each other vying to be “next.”
As the cars do on the streets so shall the people do at the market. The system of lining up really hasn’t caught on in China. If there are only two or three people in the queue you might find you are able to hold your own but, however, if you find you are one of a handful of individuals you will soon discover yourself lost in a sea of people, a surging mass of individuals stepping up to the counter without rhyme or reason. It’s every man, woman, and child for themselves and if you are passive you will spend the entirety of your day right there where you stand. So stand up for yourself and step up, demand your turn! As a representative of your country please be polite, but remember “When in Rome…”
This phenomenon will repeat itself a thousand times a day, whether waiting for cabs, elevators, the cashier at the grocery market, department store and McDonalds… it does not matter where you go, everyone wants to be “next.” So, don’t be surprised if, while visiting the Shanghai Art Museum, you find yourself examining a modern oil painting from only a 1-foot distance when, unexpectedly and surprisingly, someone steps in front of you blocking your view. They’re not trying to be rude, they’re trying to get a better look and they simply have not been taught another way. Keep calm, exercise patience – but don’t expect it to be reciprocated – and try to remember: This is Shanghai (not Kansas) you have to accept the fact that there is nothing you can do about a city of 15 million people all behaving in the same manner.
You may also become surprised, if not shocked, that while minding your own business in a public location, say a city park, that while you are reading a book or writing a letter home people may come up and watch you… some may even take the book out of your hands to get a better look, even while you are reading it! Enjoy the experience, laugh it off… that’s what everyone will do when you get back home and retell the story.
And my last tip for you, traveler, is to expect to see the most amazing acts of rudeness while riding the bus. If you are not traveling far, I would recommend stationing yourself in the centre of the yellow arrows, which is exactly where the metro doors will open, but beware, even with your toes hanging off the platform someone will manage to slide past you but, if you’re fast, they’ll only be one such incident, maybe two. If you are traveling by bus for a greater distance you’ll want to push to the head of the line and get on that bus first and find any seat possible. There most certainly will not be a seat for everyone so claim one as your own and be quick about it. If you later decide to give it up to a woman or child, so be it -- remember the local men would not have done so -- without your having claimed that seat first, the poor old woman would have had to stand the entire trip (and perhaps suffer other rude behaviors as well).
I hope these tips will help you get by with less stress during your day-to-day comings and goings while in Shanghai. Fortunately, no one will think you rude for behaving in such a way while in Shanghai. Just remember to revert to Mr. Manners when you return to the heartland.
And in case you forget… There’s no place like home.
